Inside Out: Lydia's Version

Anxiety - yep, about most things.

Envy - uh huh, and wondering why she's different.

(scars, treatments, growth hormone shots, CPAP, IEP, doctors)

Embarrassment - it's real, and thankfully mild still.

Fear - yes, see anxiety above. 

Sadness - We're all a little sad this week, or disappointed, angry, grieving.

Lydia's anxiety has been soaring to new heights since early August. It kicked in at the last week of summer camp when she began to worry about 4th grade math. Then we had 2 excellent drop offs at school and it started crashing. We've had tears and sobs, running and refusing, worry and sadness, and more. We've not had a super consistent routine because we didn't need one the last two years at morning drop off. Either one of us could take her, early or right on time, skip YCare and be a walker - none of it mattered. 

3 1/2 weeks into the school year and we are tightening things up around here. After our typical solid morning routine at home, I'm taking Lydia to YCare between 7:30 and 7:45. We walk and repeat our to do list all the way there. "We buzz in, we sign in, we hug and kiss. To the stage for Lydia and to the door for mom." It's been in improving stages of success for three days in a row.  

This comes after a very hard and emotional Monday and Tuesday. We have some new news about Lydia since Monday and are grappling with that. Lydia is of the age that she picks up on things and asks more questions at the doctor, so it's me trying to listen and learn with the doctor, keep my immediate emotions in check when hearing new things about Lydia, and supporting her understanding and emotions at the same time.  I wasn't ready for it on Monday.  More in another blog, at another time. I'm almost ready.